No one would have expected Meantime boss Nick Miller to take matters into his own hands after stating ‘craft beer will die’ a couple of months ago. I don’t think he actually did it himself, but the recent mess Meantime Lager finds itself in comes close to marketing-induced suicide, that’s for sure. This monday sucks, but not half as much as SAB Miller does.

Mid May Miller told journalists he believed ‘craft beer is going to die in the UK — as a the term though, not the beer.’ He said: “I think the term craft will die as variety and styles of beer become the norm as {they almost have} in the US.” He also compared the current beer “renaissance” to the rise of coffee culture in Europe ten years ago. This caused his European SAB Miller boss Sue Clark to say there were also lessons to be learnt from the rise of coffee: “What we can learn from Starbucks is on premise consumption and bringing theatre to the experience.”

Interesting and pretty intelligent observations, actually. And they learned quickly, maybe too quickly, as they did not bring theatre but sheer stand up comedy to the brand: SAB Miller, after denying for two weeks, admitted that some of the Meantime London Lager was brewed at Grolsch in Enschede, The Netherlands – not exactly a borough of London.

The silliest part of this monstrosity is the fact that if Meantime/ SAB Miller had been open and honest about it, nobody would have cared – better, we’d have understood. The thing is that the beer is too popular and the London facility can sometimes simply not keep up with demand. Then you have two options: say ‘no, sorry, sold out’ or seek alternative production. Both are perfectly fine options – as long as you are honest about it. SAB Miller wasn’t, they had Grolsch brew Meantime Lager exactly to specifications and simply blended it with local original brews but kept their mouths shut until word came out. Then they woresend things by not adressing the complaint properly: rather then saying ‘yeah, sorry, we have been brewing elsewhere and hoped you never found out’ they insisted on not having done anything wrong: “The labels say born and brewed in London,” making it “London’s finest lager brewed with Kentish hops and Anglian barley. Grolsch used those ingredients. Our labels adhere to all current industry standards” jabbered a spokeswoman for SAB Miller.

Yes darling, you are right: your labels are perfectly fine. That’s not the issue! The issue is we identify with Meantime Londen Lager. We gladly pay more for a pint of Meantime London Lager than for any other pint because we want to drink Meantime London Lager, born and brewed in London, with local ingredients. We drink Meantime because we are proud of our local brewery. If there’s anything we can do for Meantime beer to help, we will. We will even accept and drink London Lager brewed elsewhere because of production constraints – provided you tell us this is the case. If we would have been identifying with a Dutch brewed lager, coming from a city we can’t even pronounce properly and so could have been in Wales, we would have been buying and drinking that – but we don’t, what in your marketing head doesn’t get that message? And what in your stupid marketing head has made you think you could lie to us, or at least don’t tell us the truth about brewing elsewhere and still selling it as a local brew?

Is this the respect you have for our loyalty? Is this the respect you have for your customers? We take your brand, your beer and the people who make it very seriously – and you do not even have the common decency to take us seriously? Besides the fact you eat because we buy your product – yes, we pay your salaries in the end of the day – we are loyal to your brand. It is a shame Thornbridge already made it, but SAB MIller is the only brewery in the world that should have all their beers renamed to ‘Kill your Darlings’ – the SAB Miller darlings of course being their customers and their brands. We could have known after having them erect three more factories where they produce Pilsner Urquell – ‘Ah well, it’s just the name, Urquell or original source, what with all these shipping costs and labor, and they (meaning us, the customers, loyal fans of a brand) will buy it anyway!’ While they were at it, they halved the hop (costs) as well.

Brands, particularly beer brands, who still believe customers are a necessary evil and marketing is about us listening and them talking, and us then believing them, are dying brands. Brands who do not realize that we love them and will go far for them unless they mess with our trust are dying brands. Brands where marketing is more important that the makers of the product are dying brands. And so Nick Miller may have been more of a prophet then he even realized himself, and boy, was he misquoted. Madam Spokeswoman, will you please distribute these pills among your colleagues, saving one for yourself? Please do not forget to turn off the lights before you take it.