The whole topic of ‘women and beer’ has always been a bit of a non-item to me. I don’t believe in women’s beer, or typical men’s beer: our favorite beverage is non-discriminant, certainly not between the sexes. Sure, we still have to deal with groups of various male chauvinist pigs, whereby the variety is found in the beer brand for whom they execute their marketing duties. These mindless morons view the world as consisting of but two groups: beer buying men and beer selling sex objects, also known as women. The tar pits of tasteless advertising can welcome a new dinosaur: Amstel ‘mocks’ sister brand Heineken and has succeeded to even further lower the level of braindead and trashy advertising, an achievement in itself. I thought the bottom had already been reached, but Amstel Marketing Department has scraped another millimeter away: how low can you go.
I suppose they want this dreadful clip to go viral (sorry: you’ll have watch an add first), and so I thought thrice about actually typing this tirade. But let it go viral and let all of us shame the microcephalus boys behind this truly embarrassing add. I have always had a soft spot for Amstel, enjoyed their series of television adds with The Three Friends – epic episodes I can vividly relive, like the groundbreaking she-male and off-side episode – and I almost always have some Amstel pilsner in my fridge.
But not anymore. I am done with Amstel. If the gits in marketing think they voiced and visualized my Amstel identity by prostituting Angelina Jolie (or the girl next door, for that matter) they’re wrong. I don’t think that way about women and it certainly doesn’t make me want to drink Amstel – not anymore. I loved the Bavaria parody on the The Three Friends (after the series ended Bavaria flew two of them to the Caribean and shot a ‘Well, now’s time for a Bavaria’ commercial) – it had taste and was creative. Amstel, for me, has made a mockery of itself. Bye bye baby.